Someone asked me, "in a friendship relationship, where do you draw the line with a 'non-believer' (someone who is not a Christian)? For example, do you keep the relationship shallow or not?"
Great question. I am afraid that some Christians forget about the people who do not believe in God - or even seem them as their enemy. If this is a question you have, you must really care about others.
A couple of things come to mind.
The Bible talks about how "bad company" (friends) can corrupt good morals. In other words, you can be influenced by others to act in ways you know are wrong. That is why parents FREAK about their teens friends! They are worried about how you could be influenced.
Many of us, if we are honest, know this is true. We give in to bad influences at times. But instead of "guarding our hearts" (Proverbs 4:23) we easily trade what we know is right for the momentary satisfaction of being accepted by a peer.
As you grow, you should develop the maturity of knowing your limits and not allowing others to mislead you. You should also learn how to have healthy friendships - the kind where you can be a positive influence in another person's life. Most non-Christians do not decide if they like you just because you have a relationship with God. At the same time, a non-Christian may not have the same standards for their lives that Jesus for you.
There are levels of friendships in life. Those who are our closest friends end up influencing us as much as we do them. Others become casual friends who are not necessarily good or bad in their influence, we just might not be best friends because of personal preference. (If you want to listen to classical music all day but I prefer country western - we might not make the best of friends.) Still, there are those relationships we should be more careful of - not allowing ourselves to be totally vulnerable.
One of my friends explains it this way:
If people are like cups of coffee...
Some friends are a cup of "care". We should watch out for each other.
Other friends are more like a cup of "influence". You have differences in your beliefs, but they are watching and learning from you - you can influence them positively.
Still others belong in a cup of "concern". You can be their friend - but with a great deal of caution that you are not being influenced in a negative way.
We were created to have friends - just understand how they can impact us and we can impact them!
peace-
cec
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2 comments:
this is definitly a hard balance that i've tried to manage in my life. i tend to have a few very close friends whom i have chosen carefully based on their influence on me as well as just interaction and entertainment, at the same time i've always attempted to keep non believing/weak/confused believing friends not nessecarily at a far distance but rather at a conscience awareness. after all this was the down fall of the wisest non-jesus in history when solomen surrounded himself with women who influenced him away from GOD. the hardest part of this whole life balence tho is how to not allow nonbelievers into a highly infuluencial place in my life without me coming off as a self-righteous arrogant "you're-not-good-enough-for-me" kinda guy.
Well written article.
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